Famous Mark Twain Quotes
A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.
Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
Mark Twain
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Mark Twain
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
Mark Twain
I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
Mark Twain
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Mark Twain
Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.
Mark Twain
So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: 'Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is.' Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code.
Mark Twain
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
Mark Twain
Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.
Mark Twain
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
Mark Twain
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
Mark Twain
New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.
Mark Twain
We Americans… bear the ark of liberties of the world.
Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Mark Twain
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
Mark Twain
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Mark Twain
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
Mark Twain
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
Mark Twain
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
Mark Twain
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.
Mark Twain
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
Mark Twain
Imagination is always the fabric of social life and the dynamic of history. The influence of real needs and compulsions, of real interests and materials, is indirect because the crowd is never conscious of it.
Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Mark Twain
I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
Mark Twain
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Mark Twain
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
Mark Twain
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
Mark Twain
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
Mark Twain
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.
Mark Twain
The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.
Mark Twain
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one – keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Mark Twain
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
Mark Twain
The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.
Mark Twain
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
Mark Twain
